These last few weeks, if not months, have been hard. I know what it's like to struggle on a daily basis. My childhood was normal, I suppose, but there were a lit of things I didn't learn: social graces, how to express emotions and wishes, how to accept praise, how to communicate without apportioning blame and more. I was painfully shy and when I left for Ireland aged 19 I was completely unprepared. But I also saw it as a chance to get closer to becoming the kind of woman I wanted to be. I'm still socially awkward and sometimes very naive, my sense of humour is odd and I often put my foot in, but I've made progress. Now, my daily struggles revolve more around the kind of example I want to set for my daughters and the values and social competencies I want to pass on. It is hard, finding ways to do that without succumbing to the frustrated and authoritarian methods I grew up with.
Added to that, there are the choices I have to make every day regarding our food, clothes, transport, toys and such to steer my family towards the sustainable lifestyle we have chosen. Buy organic bananas or apples from Germany? Mend this shirt or buy a new one? Take the bus during a pandemic or the car? Is this racist/ sexist or just the way it is? How can I explain injustice to a two-year-old?
But still, I know it will be worth it. The mental load is huge, but the goal is clear. If lots of people take lots of little steps every day, we can make tomorrow better. But also remember- look after yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup.